Girl with a child: is it worth it to start a relationship?
Unfortunately, at the present time in life completely different situations can happen, for example, people who previously madly loved each other - get divorced. Naturally, it is better to avoid such situations, but, alas, they are present. And often couples who have a joint baby diverge, as a result, many women remain with the baby in their arms and are forced to take care of it and fully provide for it on their own. But this fact can not interfere in the process of creating new relationships.
In the case when a young man makes contact with a girl who has a baby and wants to create a further family with her, do not rush. The fact is that here it is necessary to fully weigh all sides of the current situation so that serious problems could not arise in the future. But you should also not immediately set yourself up negatively, since often such unions are very successful.
What to consider when building such a relationship
Referring to statistics, we can say that women initiate divorce, even in cases where children grow up in the family. That is why, considering the psychological side of the issue, we can say that the leading role of family life should be assigned to the weaker sex.
At some points, a man who has linked his relationship with a divorced woman may feel disenfranchised. These are the pairs that most often break up. But there are more successful options.
Positive aspects of the relationship
That is why if a man has a lady with a baby, before starting a constant intimacy, think carefully through all the points. The fact is that in this case, a man should understand that a high responsibility appears in his life, but at the same time, the positive aspects of family life will not go anywhere. Consider the main positive factors of this connection:
- The chosen one will definitely have experience with the opposite sex, since she had already experienced what family life is.
- If you have a baby girl can cook and keep your home clean.
- A woman knows how to surround her loved ones with warmth and care.
- In terms of sexual relations, such a lady also has some experience, especially when compared with very young girls who barely learned to kiss.
- Relations will be built initially as seriously as possible.
- In that case, if a man is looking for a companion for life, and not just relax, then this option is just perfect for him.
Possible negative points
The positive aspects have already been considered, now we will consider the possible difficulties that may arise in such relationships:
- The child may not accept the new love of mom.
- A child may not make contact with a new family member.
- The chosen one will devote a lot of time to the baby, which can cause a man's attacks of jealousy.
- There are problems from the financial side, as there is excessive spending.
- Conflicts can arise due to the biological father of the child, which visits the child.
- A woman can use you in selfish purposes, she needs money to support a child. Of course, you should stay away from these.
How to avoid misunderstanding and further conflicts
In general, starting an intimacy with a woman who has a child is not difficult at all. But in order for everything to be good, you should initially start with careful courting of the lady, and also do not forget to show interest and care for her crumbs. As for the child, it is necessary to establish contact with him gradually, and at the same time not to forget about surprises for his chosen one.
When contact is made, you can start a conversation about building a serious relationship and, in order to prove your seriousness, continue to look after the girl beautifully. In the event that everything goes well and the woman also does not mind creating a family in the future, it is worthwhile to justify her expectations and create strong relationships in which she can actually feel defenseless and necessary.
Tips and tricks:
- In the event that a man has already definitely decided for himself to create a family with a woman who has a child, he must be prepared for some difficulties and that now he should not give up under any circumstances. You need to be strong.
- You should not make yourself a “commander”. The fact is that a girl with a child is already a small but independent family, which was formed before the appearance of the chosen one.
- In no case no need to avoid father's duties. Whether the child meets the biological father will depend on the mother, but one should remember the phrase that the father is not the one who conceived, namely the one who gave the upbringing.
- You can’t try to take first place in the life of mom, because this place is already taken by her baby. And if the chosen one really sincerely loves, then her feelings will be enough for you two.
- You should not take the initiative in exploring Chad. Mom herself will determine the time when this will need to be done. But at the same time, it is also not necessary to deny acquaintance.
- Baby has full right to choose, that is, he may simply not accept a new family member. This moment needs to be experienced and try to win the location and trust of the baby.
Thus, we can say that building a relationship with a girl who has a baby, provided that you mutually sincerely love each other is quite simple and not scary as it might initially seem. In that case, if a man really loves his chosen one, then the baby will in no way become an obstacle for him in building a long and strong relationship.
But if you feel that she needs you only for financial support and she doesn’t love you sincerely, do not mess with such a woman, better to find without a child. In any case, you should think many times before connecting yourself with such a woman.
Benefits of Relationship with a Girl with a Child
If a young man has a girl with a child, is it worth starting a relationship? You need to think carefully. The guy should understand that additional responsibility will fall on his shoulders, but this will not be able to overshadow the positive aspects that may have such a relationship. And so, if a guy decides to date a girl who already has a child, he gets the following benefits:
- his companion will definitely be experienced, because she already managed to feel on herself what a joint, family life is,
- having a child, the girl definitely managed to learn how to cook well,
- a girl knows how to care for others and does it well,
- such a young lady managed to become a real mistress and keeps her clean everywhere
- in matters of a purely loving nature, the girl also has much more experience than very young ladies who did not even really learn how to kiss,
- such a girl will not lead guys by the nose, just flirt with them and quit, because ladies and children are looking for a more serious relationship,
- if a young man wants to quickly start a family life, then with such a girl he will be able to do it.
In general, the prospect is quite good, so do not be immediately scared if your girlfriend says that she already has a child.
Possible negative aspects
Before building a relationship with a woman with children, a man should think that such a union can have not only positive, but also negative sides. Among the difficulties of such a relationship, the following aspects are worth noting:
- the child or children will not accept the new chosen one of the mother,
- difficulties may arise that prevent contact with children,
- a woman will devote too little time to a young man, and more to children, which can cause jealousy,
- due to the fact that the young man will have a relationship with a woman whose children are not from him, quarrels may arise due to certain financial expenses,
- the father of the children can come and set them up against the new mother's chosen one.
Yes, there are not enough difficulties in this field, but the most daring do not refuse beloved girls just because they already have children.
Psychological point of view
Many guys know how to like a girl with a child well, but not knowing what to do next, they themselves spoil only the relationship that has begun. In fact, such relationships need to be built psychologically correctly so that they get a chance of success. To build a strong relationship with a girl who has a child, you need to consider the following nuances:
- it’s worth not only taking care of the lady, but also paying attention to her baby,
- you must first try to establish visual contact with the child, and then win his recognition with your care,
- should do everything so that the woman feels comfortable, then the child will not protest,
- if there is a third party to the relationship, that is, an ex-husband, then he should calmly explain that he has the right to see the child, but only on the condition that there will be no extra hints and such nonsense.
It must be understood that healthy relationships are built on the basis of understanding, care and trust, which should be shown not only in relation to the girl herself, but also to her children.
Girl with a child: the pros of relationships
As in any relationship, there is no doubt its advantages.
- The girl is ready for family life (neat, creates comfort in the house, knows how to cook)
A woman with a child is no longer a young girl who has a solid romance and a fairy tale on her mind. The child requires care and care, and therefore, most likely, she has already learned how to take care of the baby, can cook porridge and soups, she runs the household in the house, is able to create comfort and atmosphere of warmth and peace. It often happens that a man marries his lover, being in romantic dreams, and then discovers that his beloved is not able to properly wash and iron, except for scrambled eggs, is unable to cook, and even cleaning the house does not enter her circle at all duties. But it is known that most often it is life that corrodes the relationship of two lovers most often. And the disappointment begins! Of course, there are untidy and not very good housewives among girls with children, but this phenomenon is infrequent. She simply had to change, grow up and learn to be a mistress when she became a mother. And if even before this the lady was in a relationship or marriage, then, most likely, such a woman is definitely ready for the difficulties of family life.
- The girl is in a serious relationship
Unlike a free young girl who can simply flirt, have fun and consider a man as a temporary phenomenon in a real search for a life partner, a lady with a child is set up for a serious development of relations in most cases. Firstly, she thinks about her child and will not just sort out men (of course, not all). Secondly, she has already seen a lot and, if she chose you, she probably understands why she does this, why she chose you as a father (stepfather) for her child. But you yourself immediately take into account that, having met such a woman, you will either have to tune into a serious relationship, or it is better to leave her alone if you can not offer her anything other than romance.
- You can try yourself in a new role (father)
If you are not a father yet, you have a unique opportunity to feel like him, especially if the child does not have a father. But you need to do this only if you are sure that you will be serious in your relationship with a woman. Play with the feelings of the child is unacceptable. At the same time, do not be afraid to show positive emotions towards the baby. Sincerely, there are no people in the world. Your attitude will be appreciated by both the child and his mother.
- You will learn to communicate and care for children
You should not take these advantages as preparation for another stage of your life, in which there will still be other children, but here you are just training. Let us make a reservation right away: to try ourselves in the role of a father, to learn to communicate with a child, to look after him - means to do it sincerely and, if possible, forever. In fact, you can’t take a son or daughter of a woman whom you are dating as a great opportunity to practice or try something. A child is neither an object nor a toy. If you still try yourself as a father or learn to communicate with children, let it be forever.
But you can still learn to communicate with a baby or an older child if you show a desire. He will rejoice, trust you, will consider you a member of his family (if you want - dad). You can make the life of a small person happy if you yourself so wish. And you will undoubtedly wish if you love his mother.
What is the risk?
When thinking about how to start a relationship with a girl with a child, a man should not forget that a certain risk may arise. A man starting such a relationship may face the following risks:
- malevolent attitude from other people's children,
- the risk of not coping with the task, becoming a good father, for someone else’s child,
- the risk that when a man and woman have their own children, the stronger sex will make a difference between the children,
- a girl can get along with her ex-husband,
- scandals due to ex-husband and his frequent presence in the house.
Yes, there are risks for a guy who falls in love with a girl with children, but if you are afraid of them, you can never become a happy person.
Girl with a child: cons
Of course, in relations with a woman who has a child, there may be disadvantages. Consider them in more detail in order to understand and be prepared for such nuances.
- The child will negatively perceive your appearance (the reason is jealousy)
Most often, the child is not very good about the appearance of an unfamiliar man in the house, especially at first. Indeed, for a large, by his standards, amount of time, he was with his mother alone, or, in extreme cases, with his dad. And suddenly a stranger appears, to whom mom begins to pay attention, in addition to him. The child is jealous of her for you - this, of course, must be understood. But most importantly, you need to know: are you ready for such a turn? It is possible that the child of your beloved will not get used to you at all (everything depends on his character, especially if he is already old enough or a teenager, and on your sincere desire to get close to him).
- The girl devotes more time to the child
It must be understood that no matter how you love each other, no matter how close you are, maternal love is something special, and in the first place the mother always has her child. Not because she madly loved his father or cannot forget him (as some representatives of the stronger sex think), but because her child is something that is with her forever, in her blood and soul. This is the way mother woman works. And it is clear that she pays the most attention to the child (at times when he is sad or joyful, when he is sick, etc.). In such situations, a man begins to know what to invent in order to attract the attention of a girl, and if she still prefers a child, she also begins to be jealous, and quarrels and omissions occur. Are you mentally prepared for the fact that your girlfriend prefers your child to you, will not always put your desires and needs at the forefront?
- Financial issue
Surely you understand that by linking your life with a woman to a child, you automatically assume financial responsibility for him, even if the baby has child support from his father. Life is unpredictable, and a mother woman will always be a priority to think about her child and his well-being.Are you ready for the fact that it is possible (this, unfortunately, happens very often), you have to take care of a stranger to you while the baby who has no other income than the income of his mother? It is no secret that today's fathers are not eager to pay child support and in every possible way evade this issue.
- Communication with the biological father of the child
This is another problem that for some reason is perceived by men quite peculiarly. If a child communicates with his biological father, the new lover of the mother can be choking in two cases. In the first - if your girlfriend herself is often present at these meetings, and you are jealous of her. In the second - if the father of your woman’s child is absolutely unpleasant to you and, in your opinion, you are doing everything for him, but for some reason he still communicates with dad. In general, it is extremely rare for the stronger sex in our society to relate normally to the communication of their spouse with their ex-husband, and the child - with the father. See what the problem is? How adequate can you be in this matter? This should also be taken into account if you start a relationship with a girl whose child has a biological father, and he communicates with him.
Girl with a child: is it worth it to establish a relationship?
If you have met a woman who has a baby on her life path, then you already know all the pros and cons of this situation. It is important for you to figure out whether you are ready for cons if they are present in your life? Before you start a serious relationship with a woman who has a child, before insisting on getting to know him, you better understand yourself and understand if you are mentally prepared for difficulties?
In general, everything is purely individual. For example, there are men who do not allow the thought that they will raise someone else's child. And for others, this, in principle, is not important, if only the woman was good and consistent with their ideas.
The point, of course, is probably love in the first place. If a man loves a girl, he will take care of her and do everything to make her happy (and a mother woman is happy when her baby is happy).
Love overcomes all obstacles
It is not enough just to know how to behave with a girl with a child in order to start a successful relationship with her, she just needs to be loved very much. If relations are built on the foundation of strong love and mutual understanding, trust, honesty, then even the most difficult difficulties can be overcome without unnecessary problems. Without feelings, even if the girl has no children, sooner or later quarrels and some other negative moments will begin. So, if a guy is not sure that he loves a girl, you should not start a relationship, regardless of whether she has children. If we are talking about mutual and sincere feelings, then the child will not become a big obstacle in their way.
If you decide to build a serious relationship with a girl with a child, use the tips on how to build your relationship and try to create a strong and happy family.
- Get ready for difficulties
Any relationship is always built for a long time. To do this, sometimes you need to show all your patience, all your wisdom and experience. You must be prepared for difficulties. It is necessary to understand that the life of a small person now depends on you, that he is also not very fun, if not everything goes well in the house where he lives. Remember that a child may begin to think that it is not through his fault that it does not work, and in no case should it be. It is adults who create the world of the child, and not vice versa.
- Have patience with your child
If your girl’s baby is a restless or inconsistent creature, does not want to put up with you and your requirements, calm down. Try to establish contact with him, and for this, be patient. Do not allow yourself to react rudely to children's tricks, even if the child provokes you. Do not gift him gifts, namely, learn to communicate, become a close friend to him. Then a happy atmosphere is provided for you. Do not follow anybody’s lead. Do not listen to people (even those close to you) if they whisper: “Why do you need this?” Think with your heart and feel with your soul.
- Do not avoid your duties
This advice is for many men, because often they think that if they married a woman with a child, then in principle they have already made her happy. Try not to avoid your male responsibilities, and childcare responsibilities as well. This will bring you closer to your beloved even more, because joint cares, mutual assistance are what makes people family. Do not share obligations and responsibilities. Do everything and always together, as this is the way to genuine family happiness.
- Do not compete with the child for the girl's love
In no case do not try to share the love of your girlfriend with your child. Firstly, love for you and love for the baby are two completely different feelings that do not intersect at all and cannot compete with each other. Secondly, the child may be worried about this, but you can’t make him suffer because you, as an adult, are not able to recognize it. Well and most importantly: if you start to set ultimatums, any sensible mother will choose the side of her child. And what will you do? What will you achieve? Only provoke a conflict. So why start what you bring to naught with endless nitpicking?
How to start a relationship with a girl with a child?
To establish a relationship with a girl who has a baby is not so difficult. To make a good start to this business, you need to carefully look after the lady and show interest in her baby. It is worth gradually establishing contact with the child, not forgetting to make pleasant surprises for the woman. After that, you need to start a sincere conversation about a serious relationship, prove the seriousness of your intentions by actions and continue to pursue your beloved lady. If the girl agreed, everything must be done in order to meet her expectations and build a really strong relationship.
Building relationships with girls who have children is not as scary and difficult as it might seem at first glance. If a young man really loves a lady with a child, then do not make the child an obstacle, you need to turn the little man into his ally. When a child realizes that they are well treated and loved by his mother, he will not interfere with such a relationship, but will only be in favor. You need to understand that for love there should be no barriers, and children are not a barrier, but double happiness that a young man receives with his beloved girl.
If you need a family, you love and are loved, does it matter that your lover has a child? Of course not. Because, if principles are included in the case, then it is hardly a question of true love. This does not mean that you need to love so that you don’t think about anything. Not. All decisions must be made carefully. But love for a woman is love for the fact that she loves whom she loves. This is an elementary respect for her and her life. And in this life there is a child. And you can either become an enemy for him and destroy your family life, or a friend, preserving love and giving a little person joy.
In such a union, there are both disadvantages and advantages.
A woman with a child will no longer take risks and will reciprocate only if she is sure that you can “pull” them both and become a good father. She can step over herself and marry even an unloved person. The main thing for her will be material stability and confidence in the future.
She will hold on to her spouse and cherish a new family. She knows firsthand about all the problems and difficulties associated with divorce, and will try not to repeat this mistake a second time.
You will get more love, care and affection in such a marriage, but the likelihood of scandals is also possible. The child will be jealous of mom for you. Mom will ensure that you do not do anything superfluous, do not offend, do not scream or cheat on her child. A common child can smooth things over and put everything in its place, but before his birth, you have to "not sweet."
The child has a father, and most likely you will have to periodically intersect and endure the communication of your wife with your ex-husband. If you are a jealous person, then stepping over yourself will be very difficult.
Get ready for the fact that there will be more expenses in such a family than in an ordinary one. The mother will try to give her first child all the best to make amends. And naturally, your money will be spent on this as well.
In bed, such a girl will give odds to any young woman. She has experience, knows what a man needs and is not notorious for her appearance.
Such girls are great housewives. They are already prepared, they know how to cook well and know what their husband needs.
But for all this, you will have to pay. Most likely there will be a clear delineation of responsibilities: the wife - maintains a home and engages in farming, the husband is the earner and must provide for the family.
Serious responsibility will fall on your shoulders and if you are not ready to become a father, then do not meddle in these relationships. The fate of a small child is much more important than your feelings and needs. You must be responsible for it and educate as your own.
Conclusion: if you are a strong man and are not afraid of difficulties, love a girl and are ready to become a father, then you should not be afraid. There will be more advantages in these relations than in ordinary ones.
But if there is no certainty, then pass by without hesitation.
It's better not to count on fleeting relationships - such a girl needs a family.
Write in the comments your opinion on this issue - we will discuss!
Who is the "trailer divorce"
A divorced woman with a child, she is also an RSP, or a “divorced woman with a trailer” is a natural consequence of the matriarchal education of men in the spirit of duty and responsibility to a woman.
You can even say that most of the divorces today are a means of getting rid of compliant and friendly men who are disadvantageous to women who are again moving to the stage of finding a new partner to replace their former, which did not meet her expectations. However, such an attempt to do it all over again already a priori can be considered flawed, because the chances of a girl who does not have children and a divorced woman with a child can not be equal initially.
Nevertheless, as practice shows, divorces with a "trailer" often find themselves relatively worthy men and create their second families with them. Having asked a question to find out how relations with women with children of others are convenient for men, we will try to analyze them as objectively as possible in the proposed article.
So, as we have already noted, a woman who left her former family union of her own free will has one or more children from her former husband, who often disappears from her personal life purely conditionally, continuing to communicate with her and her child for an unlimited time. This fact must be taken into account by any man who meets with such a "divorcee," namely, that her "ex" will somehow be present in her life all the time, regardless of whether this suits her current gentleman or not.
The mere fact that two outsiders, her ex-husband and someone else's child, are included in a possible family life at once does not initially add optimism to all her possible cavaliers, as a result of which she loses one boyfriend after another.
In battle, all means are good
In order to achieve the desired, i.e. to start her personal life anew, she has to use an order of magnitude more funds to keep a potential partner she liked. As a result, she already at the very beginning can be much more initiative than her chosen man.
In particular, she is ready to use all her most attractive qualities to keep him. It can be almost complete permissiveness for him in terms of sex, as well as indispensable attributes of home comfort that have already been in family relationships: cleanliness and order at home, a delicious dinner, and such an important desire for all men at the end of each working day to be heard and encouraged .
Such traits are far from always capable of being activated by any other woman, therefore, at the courtship stage, a divorced woman with a “trailer” becomes for a man a kind of storehouse of worldly wisdom, care, purely feminine attention and understanding. Of course, all these points are of great importance for his further choice of her as a permanent partner, and equally - for the future wife.
Nevertheless, we have every reason to believe that all these features, i.e. care, affection, attention, understanding and other similar things are typical for a divorce only in the early stages of a relationship, when she still needs to entice the man she has chosen, to keep him close to her.
Such “correctness” cannot last forever, because why then didn’t she want to keep her former family in the same way? Consequently, this woman already has a priori insincere behavior when she simply achieves a predetermined goal, for example, to start a family with this man or to start living together with him. As soon as this goal is achieved, the divorcee can either immediately become herself, the former, or just periodically support the man’s opinion of herself as a caring and loving woman by repeating the methods of his retention, which she already tested on him at the very beginning.
Parasetic family relationships
The fact of cohabitation and housekeeping, and especially marriage, in itself implies a traditional pattern of family relations with all the ensuing consequences.
We must say right away that in this scheme the classical parasitic relations of the sexes are formed, where the woman is a housewife, or, more harmoniously, the “keeper of the outbreak”, and the man the “breadwinner and provider”. A similar allocation of roles, where one earns and assigns and distributes the second is characteristic of the parasitic types of marital cohabitation, regardless of the fact of its registration in the civil registry office.
An alliance with a divorced woman with a child, regardless of the fact of its formalization, can be considered a much more risky event than a similar alliance with a girl without her own children. The fact is that already initially in the first version there are much more participants than in a traditional family.
This is the woman’s ex-husband, who is the father of her child, and her parents, who will help her with the upbringing of the youngest member of the family as grandfather and grandmother, and, in fact, the child himself, who is a stranger to the man who has entered into a relationship with the divorce. Thus, the latter has many different connections, relationships, likes and dislikes that directly or indirectly affect it to varying degrees and, sooner or later, lead to consequences typical for this kind of partnership.
Building relationships with someone else's child
The main problems that a man in a family of this kind can arise are the difficulties of establishing contact with someone else's child, firstly, and some obvious disadvantage in the health of relations with his mother - secondly. Not every man is ready to build relationships with strangers, especially with children. Few people are able to constantly maintain and develop the relationship that does not violate the interests of the child or does not damage his own authority in the family, even if formal.
In the process of cohabitation, various kinds of conflicts are evident between the child, who can be jealous of the mother for a stranger to him, as well as the stepson or stepdaughter and stepfather, who is either trying to “buy” his or her arrangement with various gifts and tokens or to clearly dominate their upbringing for maintaining some subordination in communication.
Naturally, in such conflicts, a man has every chance to feel his real loneliness in the family, because the mother, in most cases, will take the side of her children. And they will certainly take advantage of her support in the future.
Thus, a family with a divorce with a “trailer” is a union of, in fact, two worlds, the world of a woman with a child and the world of a man who, formally approaching, nevertheless, remain different in difficult moments and rarely are able to unite in complex situations.
Leading Role or Sponsor Role?
Since for the sake of maintaining relations in this kind of family one of the parties often has to compromise with itself and the situation surrounding it, we believe that such a party is a priori a man who accepts first the fact that he comes into contact with a woman with a child and then - that he should, in order to avoid conflicts, indulge the members of the existing partnership in their wishes.
As a result, a rather unhealthy relationship scheme develops, where the leading role is allocated to the woman with the child, and the man in relation to them takes a certain auxiliary role of the sponsor, who pays for them and his own standard of living, the acquisition of material goods, receiving portions of attention and care for this.
Thus, a situation arises when a woman receives from a man all the benefits that she would receive in her own family, and a man receives a certain substitute for relations instead of his own family.
If such a scheme of relations is stabilized, then in the future a man may “open his eyes” to what is really happening in his life, therefore one of the effective tools for his retention by a woman can be her birth of a joint child.
However, this event can indicate the deepest split in such a family, since a man will devote an order of magnitude more time and attention to a stranger than a stranger, which is especially characteristic of cases when the latter constantly sees his father. Under these conditions, the already fragile balance of relations is violated and an obvious split is formed in the family, where the past and present of the woman are visible, which contributed to the creation of this kind of “partnership”, where on the one hand the children are from her one spouse, and on the other from the other . As a result, such a family can be in an even more serious crisis than at the beginning of its creation.
All of the above should be carefully thought out by both men and women who want to develop their personal life, stabilize it by choosing a monogamous union. According to the author, the family between the divorce with the "trailer" and her new man retains the chances of his development only in a minimal number of cases for all these objective reasons.
Nevertheless, each of us is always familiar with examples of prosperous families where children of spouses from previous marriages are brought up. But in order to judge the success of this kind of alliances, it is necessary to repeatedly evaluate their own capabilities to create something like that. Any mistake in this kind of relationship is fraught with serious psychological trauma both for the children of one of the spouses from the previous marriage, and for the spouses themselves.
The article can be found here: http://pruslin.ru/stoit-li-zavodit-otnosheniya-s-razvedennoj-zhenshhinoj-s-rebenkom-perspektivy-dlya-muzhchiny/
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There is only one reason why a man wants to be and stay with a woman who already has a child!
Female. It is a woman. Not a girl, not a girl, but a woman. Because relationships (serious) are built only with women. Because only a woman has experience in relationships. Only a woman can appreciate a man. Only a woman knows how to handle a man. How to behave with him. What are his needs. How to close them. Etc. etc. Girl, this is a girl ...
If a man has a real desire to be with a woman (i.e., if he loves her), and this largely depends on the woman herself, how she behaves, what kind of woman is watching / not watching, feminine or not feminine whether she is a woman at all, or a girl / girl, whether she knows how to handle a man, how well she covers men's needs, whether they have mutual understanding, common interests, values (how well they fit together), etc., then attention : nothing will stop a man. No child = will play a role for him. 100% fact!
The fact is that a person close to me, brings up, doesn’t turn to say that another person’s child is already more than 7 years old. What played a role? Role played = woman. Yes, woman! The woman herself!
This is all, of course, good, but here's the flip side ...
A high-ranking man would not fall in love with a woman who has a child.
For one simple reason - not profitable.
It is not profitable, not at all profitable. I understand that for girls, girls and women themselves with children (and even without children), now, the emotional component (animal) will burst out and will bomb the fart not in a childish way. This is inhuman. Selfish. Wrong. You are men, you must blah blah blah.
But, I say, as it is. I’m not lying to you, I’m not hiding anything or hiding anything. I will tell the cruel truth, but the truth. And now, I say, in terms of the rational component, not the emotions.
In a high-ranking person, in contrast to the low-medium-ranking =, the mind prevails, and not the animal component. And the mind says there is no gain. I am not the father of the child. This is not my child. Not my genetic material. Why not invest in your genetic material? What for?
This is not my genetic line. Why invest in this? What for? From the point of view of evolution, namely a kind - there is no benefit to raise someone else's child. And the high-ranking person perfectly understands this, and therefore he will avoid girls with children ...
Not because he is afraid of responsibility or something else (many girls think that it is necessary to look for a more age category of men who are not afraid of responsibility, etc.). But that’s not the point ... There is simply no gain. These are harsh realities. And I tell you the way I am. Believe it or not = decide for yourself.
In addition, we must not forget that in the environment - natural selection. In other words, there are millions of other women, without children, with whom you can build a serious relationship and create your own, let’s say, product. Its genetic material. Your genetic line.
After all, what is a serious relationship? In fact, this is an operation (transaction) to create a common (joint) product. The products are = children. This is a serious relationship.
Therefore, a really high-ranking male is unlikely to be with a girl who already has a child. Although, this can be. Generally not excluded. It all depends = on the woman herself. From a woman.
If a woman can "tangle" this man, i.e. fall in love with yourself = everything, game over.
A man will not care that she has a child - because he has already fallen in love! And love is dominated by animal instincts. Reason = loses in the process of love. Therefore, if he loves = he doesn’t care about everything, he wants to be with this woman. Point. In this case, the woman is beautiful, because to get a high-ranking male, and even when you have a child = this is really a level ...
Is it worth it to start a relationship with a girl with a child: evidence of practitioners and the position of specialists
According to psychoanalysts (and they reflect the opinion of an impartial observer), the majority of single moms have a contradictory set of skills and aspirations, the lion's share of which can be safely added to the list of indisputable advantages.
- They don’t start themselves and manage to look great, despite everyday and financial troubles, they are interested in a successful career, they are keenly interested in the opposite sex, but they don’t have habits to be imposed on guys. Why - a separate conversation.
- The mother girl has sexual experience, is able to manage the household, calculate incomes and usually cooks well. The ability to feed oneself and a son / daughter (sometimes both) without the support of parents is considered an additional bonus - not everyone, however, inherited it.
- If a girl has a child from her first marriage and at the same time has an excellent figure, the chances that the next birth of the forms will not spoil are high. The presence of the baby saves her from the desire, typical for many non-mothers, to get born early, which will simplify the career growth of her future partner.
- Married virgins are not in a hurry to "plunge" into new marriage and family ties. The bar of their requirements for a "gentleman's bouquet" is high, and a "scent" has been developed for peasant dummies. This is understandable: a loving mother is looking for not only her husband, but also the father of her baby - caring and attentive.
- From the above installation, the following paragraph follows, directly related to it: mom is an ideal for her own children in terms of behavior and how her boy / girl looks (well-groomed, developed, raised) is easier to recognize than a carefree and childless young lady.
- Deciding to marry a girl with a child will be convinced: such a woman as no one is able to be grateful to a man knight who substituted her shoulder. To those who shared her parental concerns with her and made her life easier, she will cherish and will do everything to strengthen her alliance with him.
How to do this if a man does not want to fall in love with you?
I see 1 option: a woman needs to fall in love first (and not talk about the child, because if you say - well, you yourself understand, the peasant will immediately begin rejection, he will not take you seriously for a long-term relationship, because he already knows that you are not profitable).
As a result, he will either just “use you (for his needs)” when never, or just right away he will have such thoughts - why do I need it, oh, everything must be blamed, let's goodbye. When a man has already fallen in love = then tell me ...
If he fell in love (and loves, and you should feel it), the man will have nowhere to go. Because the animal (unconscious) part rules with love. Reasonable component (reason) = lose to the animal. It is in the beginning the mind = would win. Immediately. Instantly. But, when a man has already fallen in love, game over. Yes, it’s cunning and not human, but there’s a worthy man next to you.
P.s. how to manage this information - everyone decides independently. I only see it this way ... maybe I'm wrong (it is possible), but I know for sure that this method worked repeatedly.
Yes, guys, love is evil)). Women they are)) many women, as they say, in war, all means are good. Well, men, let's not forget that not all girls TP give themselves ... to all the women with eggs between their legs, without "protection", who later throw them because they put them to take responsibility, build relationships, provide, protect, takes care of a woman and a child.
Yes, such girls = in many ways are to blame themselves, because it’s not the hell of a foot in front of anyone to push apart, but surrender without “protection”. By the way, those who throw their child = it is women with eggs between their legs. Those who throw their own genetic material. Its genetic line to the mercy of fate. These are women. In the literal sense of the word. Worthy men = do not abandon their own. His native = never abandoned, never.
Many may have accidents, were missing, wars, died, etc. etc. and the woman has nowhere to go. And what the hell now, to be forever alone? To be alone all my life? Raise a child alone? All by herself? ...
Nobody deserves it. A woman needs a man. Strong male shoulder. Therefore, let’s do without these low-ranking primitive emotions: “you yourself are to blame for what you thought when ... well, etc ...”
Everything happens in life. It's still life, whatever one may say. This is the first moment that I told you about. The second point is that if you are a woman who wants a worthy high-ranking man, you yourself must be a worthy high-ranking woman. In another way. 100% guarantee for you.
Rule: each creature has a pair, and they get what they themselves are. There are no options.
You cannot be with a high-ranking male if the mongrel itself is low-ranking. There should be parity. 100% without options. Low-ranking with - low-ranking. Medium - with medium ranking. High - with high ranking. But most do not understand this. Most women are low-medium-ranking ... but dream of “princes on a white horse”, in these cases, it’s getting ridiculous ...
Do you want yourself a high-ranking male (worthy man) = yourself must be a high-ranking female (worthy woman). Point. Therefore, develop, work on yourself, change, become better. Progress. Upgrade yourself to a high-ranking level. Otherwise, you cannot fall in love with him.
That's all. This is the main thing I wanted to tell today. I gave information to a man, and gave information to a woman. How hey to manage = everyone decides for himself. I am only a source ...
Be that as it may, in any case I want to support the female half of humanity, and say: do not lose heart if you are a single mother = your personal life is not over. You must understand that everything depends on you. I wish you one thing - happiness 🙂 in the end, this is the most important thing, and you deserve it.
P.s. on the Internet there are common erroneous (in my opinion) opinions that I want to clarify.
Mommy Girl: Is contact and subsequent life problematic?
There are no universal tips on how to find the right line of relationship with a passion that has a child. But that the approaches to young mothers of children (one, two - it doesn’t matter) are fundamentally different from what you learned, “taunting” non-mom girls, no doubt. The sea of difficulties is in courtship, love, cohabitation and the distribution of roles. And the main thing is her “chick”, which is more important for the non-cuckoo mother in the world.
Recommendations on how to prevent mistakes to those who fell in love with a girl with a child - below. They are not perfect, but the arsenal of pitfalls that traditionally cavaliers of young (and not so) mummies stumble on is generally outlined.
- Do not be fooled by a candidate for a companion: you have already done this with her, and by deceiving her a second time, you are acting meanly. Be extremely honest.
- Do not exaggerate the difficulties of the life-career plan that happened to you. Her life is much more complicated than yours: she is responsible for the offspring.
- Do not claim leadership in its priority scale. For her, the center of the universe is the baby. But if she is kind and compassionate, her love will be more than enough for you.
- Do not rush to get acquainted with her “little blood” - she herself will decide on the moment suitable for this step. But you can’t avoid meeting. Let her control the process.
- The child has the right not to accept you. Hatred and jealousy can become a reaction to your “appearance” - this must be understood and experienced. Try to conquer him.
- - If you are adamant in deciding to marry a girl with a child (or even two children), consider: nothing shines on the weak and weak-willed along this path. Get ready to be strong.
- Do not rush into fathers-commanders. The family, albeit in an incomplete composition, has developed before you. A hearty friend will decide whether to continue to lead her or whether it’s time to relax.
- Be noble; do not try to avoid your father's duty. Seeing a child with a bio-dad is the wife’s business. But remember: the phrase “Father didn’t conceive, but who raised” is not unfounded.
If you are a real man who has loved a woman with a child sincerely and deeply, you will be able to build a relationship with her and her natural particle in the form of a small copy-baby. And it is in this - your destiny and the greatest reward. Go ahead.
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Opinion No. 1. Due to the child, the woman needs a responsible man
I’ll probably surprise many now, but absolutely any woman (even without a child) needs (is looking for) a responsible man. Because the main quality, quality No. 1. a truly worthy man is a responsibility. With a responsible man = I want to deal. He is responsible for his words. Deeds. Actions.He fulfills his obligations. He performs his masculine functions. Etc. etc. This is a very serious quality. This is a masculine quality. This is quality number 1. in any man.
And the vast majority of men = low to medium ranking. And these ranks are very often afraid of responsibility. They are afraid to take responsibility. Even for myself. Own life. Own words. Deeds. Actions. Etc. etc. not to mention responsibility for other people. For your family, etc.
Run away from responsibility. Shifted to others. Etc. etc. but they don’t take it upon themselves. How can one do business with such a creature? Any what? Tell me how? This is not male behavior ...
Naturally, a responsible man is important for a woman. Because this way the woman will have clear clarity, she will be confident in the future, in the future, with you, she will know that you will take care, will contain, provide and protect, that you can be relied on, that you will not slip and dump , or you won’t go to a young, over the years relationship, which will be constantly nearby, even in the most difficult periods of life, hey need confidence in you, heyy need reliability, stability. Do you understand?
This, by the way, is one of the women's needs. Which name is reliability (stability).
You see, the child does not play a role here. This is a female need. Women’s. Any woman (even without a child) is important. The point I want to convey to you is that a woman wants a man for herself. That's all.
A man who will be stronger than her inner. He wants to support himself. Strong male impenetrable shoulder. Stone wall. Such a male with whom she will feel - a little girl. Weak, submissive, protected, like God’s bosom, where hey doesn’t have to decide anything (perform the functions of a man) and build this damned iron lady out of herself. You understand? Think about it…
Conclusion: absolutely any woman (even without a child) is looking for a responsible man. Point.
Opinion No. 2. When a girl has a child, the man enters the already existing (inferior) family, where the woman is at the head.
Inferior family for = no man. Included in the existing one (well, ok, the woman is already with a child). This is the existing family, if I may say so)). This is clear to everyone. But, if a woman can tire a man so that he truly falls in love with her = all game over. He will be poher.
He will create with her his own genetic line (his genus will be continued), and that’s it. The family will truly be full, and of course (if we speak for a high-ranking man) led by a man.
With a high-ranking man - a woman will never be the main one. Read more: "Who is the head of the family."
In fact, this question cannot be answered unequivocally. Because everything will depend on which man will be next to this woman (not all the same high-ranking). And that depends on the woman herself.
Rule: each creature has a pair, and they get what they themselves are.
Low-ranking with - low-ranking. Medium - with medium ranking. High - with high ranking.
In a low-mid-ranking woman, she can really dominate, push around, manipulate, etc. etc. my man. But, all this, even with women without a child. The child has nothing to do with it.
And with a high-ranking male = a woman cannot stand at the head. With or without a child, = it doesn’t matter at all. A high-ranking male will not allow a woman to be in charge. Because a high-ranking man = much stronger in the internal state of any high-ranking woman. Whatever the woman, with a high-ranking man = she will always be weaker. Is always. Absolutely always. I give a 100% guarantee regarding this issue.
A high-ranking woman (like any woman in general) needs a male who will be stronger than her internal. A woman needs a man. Support. Strong male impenetrable shoulder. Stone wall. Such a male with whom she will feel - a little girl weak, submissive, under protection, like a god in her bosom, where she does not have to decide anything and build herself an iron lady.
So, with such a male nearby, a woman, as if by a click, automatically becomes number 2, because she feels his power. Feels this power. The energy. This confidence. Everything happens at the level of feelings. Who is stronger inside = that and the main (leading). And it doesn’t matter that she has a child there.
Opinion No. 3. A girl with a child is looking, first of all, for a supplier of material resources, and the man himself fades into the background ...
The same very common misconception. I tell you how things really are ...
Remember everything: the main function of a man is to be a getter.
I have already told about this so many times that it’s too lazy to write about these mammoths)). In general, before a man went hunting and fell mammoths and other animals to feed himself and his family.
Now (in the modern world) a man is hunting not for game (this is no longer required), but for money! Because for grandmas you can buy food and feed yourself and your family. Without attendants = no. And this applies to everything. Not just food. Now you can protect and take care of grandmothers, etc. etc.
The bottom line is that man = hunter! Previously for game, now for money. That’s the whole difference.
Accordingly, if you (man) without dough = you are a worthless hunter. You are not adapted to the surrounding reality (the world). You cannot feed, protect and take care of yourself and your family. You are a loser (loser). Point. And if you are not in the know, but it is very likely that it is, then:
Women evaluate primarily the success of a man (his adaptability to the environment (the world)).
This is one of the women's needs. If you don’t know anything about women's needs, I recommend that you study this article: “What does a woman need from a man”.
So, financial security is one of the women's needs. Therefore, absolutely any woman, girl, girl, ё-May, any female, even without a child = wants a wealthy promising man with a loot. Any. Absolutely any. I talked about this in the article: "What is important for women in men (article with an emphasis on the mathematical part)." I recommend you to study.
In short, this is important because in this way a woman’s risk in life will be minimal. So the woman will have clear clarity, she will be confident in the future, in the future, she will know that everything will be good for her and her offspring (that the man will take care, will support, provide and protect).
And that is the absolute norm. At least for a high-ranking man. And any female. This is not the norm for low-medium-ranking individuals (the vast majority of men), and it is these guys who will show their inferiority, ala style, all the women need some money, they are all corrupt, finished, etc. but I’m not talking about them. For a high-ranking male = this is the absolute norm. He understands all this perfectly. He understands that in the modern world, a man without a dough = no one and there is no way to call him. A man without a dough is a loser. And with the losers - none of the women wants to have affairs.
Well, and as you know, the child has nothing to do with it. In any case, your competitive ability is important to a woman. Your grandmother. With or without a child, = it doesn’t matter. Therefore, to say that a woman with a child needs only a financial wallet, and nothing more = not correct ...
After all, then it turns out that all other women (even without children) need the same grandmothers? This, of course, is not so. Don’t get it wrong, grandmas decide very much in this life (takes place), but nothing ends with them. This is just one of the women's needs.
For a woman in a man, the man himself is important. And this concept includes - a lot of things ... and if you do not know, no one is born a man - they become a man. True, not all. although, I’m sure that many will not understand this, because for many grandmothers almost everything in this life, and it’s unfortunate ...
Conclusion: any female (even without a baby) is looking for a competitively capable male (wealthy, with dough). And the child is here, by no means at all. Point.
And all these nonsense about the fact that due to the fact that the girl has a child - hey, first of all, he needs a financial wallet = nonsense. Any female is looking very carefully at the material well-being of a man)). And this is the absolute norm (for high-ranking individuals).
If you are not difficult / sorry, share a link to this article in social networks (social buttons are below). This is the best you can do, I will be very, very grateful to you.
And really, why should a man be the head of the family? A woman (a loser) will still think about whether to give the reins of power in the family to the street. Although, nevertheless, the man will be in last place. Guys, why do you need this mess in the shower. Pass by the RSP, they have too much headache! 5 years of relations with such a woman give me the right to speak and advise like that! RSP is trouble, stand them! You can have fun, but I do not recommend building something serious!